Tuesday, October 6, 2015

Resolutions or to Resolve

At the new year many people start "New" things or make resolutions. I think I am the only person in the world who has had the same resolutions for at least 5 years, not joking, the same resolutions for 5 long years, maybe more. Of course in good ol' Lilly fashion I do not call them New Year's Resolution's, I call them "Life Changing Goals, that should be accomplished in at least one year".

Here is the list as I can remember it.

1. Get more excersize.
2. Become Debt Free.
3. Make healthier meals.
4. Spend more quality time with Astro and Honey (kids not dogs).
5. Spent more time in prayer and meditation.
6. Get the House completely Organized.
7. Stick to a night time schedule.
8. Be slow to speak and quick to listen and love.
9. Practice Love and Logic parenting.
10. Work on extra academics with the kids.
11. Learn to communicate better with difficult people.
12. Spend more time outside.
13. Vacation more.
14. Start taking better care of myself.
15. Learn a new language.
16. Make smoothies in the morning.
17. Start jogging.
18. Swim more.
19. Read 5 books.
20. Start a new wardrobe.

Ok, seriously!?! Did I ever really expect myself to accomplish all of this in one year?! Of course I didn't it was another way to complicate my life, this I can say was more of a wish list. Your probably asking yourself "well have you?", good question. This year I can finally say that I did scratch a couple of these off the list and few of these are getting thrown out with the day old donuts. Now that I know how accomplishing all of these "Goals" in one year is like trying to fit an elephant into a seat on an Air Tahiti flight or teaching Honey how to just say not to 7Eleven. I have first hand expience with both of them and they don't work (maybe not so much the elephant but something similar). Having an unfinished list was not a productive way to make myself feel better in fact every time I would look at the list, I would start to cry and wonder where did my life go? Why can't I accomplish anything. Was that dramatic enough. What I wasn't realizing is that I had accomplished many things, they just weren't on my list. Many of them should have been because they were a lot more important than making sure we had smoothies in the morning. For example, we got through the first year of middle school with Astro and no one was injured meaning I didn't accidently trip any middle school girl so she falls on her face. (That's an entirely different blog post)

So I decided to work on one goal at a time. Which of course is another simplify your life rule of thumb. Multi tasking is not always the answer. Sometimes life changes takes 100% of your attention and heart to accomplish. If the change is worth it I need to give it the attention it deserves. I need to make it a priority and finding time for priorities means re-evaluating what my purpose is, what I want for my family, and what do we all really need. Identifying what on this list is a priority and what is not. Making my priorities come first will mean I will have to say goodbye to many of the things that are holding us back. Extra activities, inconvenient meetings, clutter, and certain people are all things that are using up our down time where we can focus.  
OK I know you are SO what did you accomplish??? In 2015 I can say that I have become debt free, I have learned to communicate with difficult people in a more productive manner, and I went on one extra vacation. Some of the other items we attempted but not completed, like a read a couple books, I jogged for about two weeks, and I organized portions of the house.  
Will I be doing this again next year? No, I have a feeling in 2016 my life changing goals list (New Years Resolution) will no longer be a list, it will be more of a thoughtful process made of ONE priority so I can stay focused on what matters. I will resolve to care for myself and my family as whole and make that the priority and everything else should fall into place. Without trying to multi task and being honest with myself, I know I can resolve to start the new year with a resolution to simply remember my priority is my family.