What Would You Do?

This morning I read a post about money. The author posed this question to her readers - What would you change about your life if money was no object?

I love hypothetical questions and this one really resonated with me, especially with the $640 million dollar lottery winner being picked tonight!

Immediately I began to make a list in my head of all the things I would do if I didn't have to worry about money:

1. Take a drawing class. I've been searching for a while now to try and find an art class that would fit with my work schedule. So far the only classes I've found are $40 and $60 per class, which seems a little ridiculous to me - but as long as money is no object, maybe I'll sign up for two!

2. Switch to working part-time. I don't know that I would want to quit my job completely, but going from 5 9hr days a week to 2 4hr days sounds really lovely. It's enough working time to make me appreciate the time that I'm not at work, but not so much working time that I start counting down the minutes until the weekend. Plus, in this alternate reality, I would still qualify for healthcare, right?

3. Get a dog. I love, love, love little furry dogs. If I didn't have to leave the little guy home alone all day, I would totally have a dog already - a little Pomeranian named Harry Potter who would sleep on my bed and dance on his hind legs when he was excited, and love riding in the car. Also, I would get a job that allowed me to bring my dog to work...and allow me to telecommute...and take months off for travel...hmm, this job situation might not work out after all...

4. Hire a chef/housekeeper. Deciding what to make for dinner and then having to shop for the food and cook it is not my idea of fun. So I would hire a chef to come make delicious, soy-free, vegan dinners that my meat-eating husband will love. The chef would also be a fabulous housekeeper who sweeps the floors and cleans bathrooms - my two least favorite chores.

5. TRAVEL!!! I just started reading Life of Pi and the author's description of the habits of the three-toed sloths in Brazil sounded really interesting! So I would take a trip (first class of course) over to Brazil for a few months, hang with the sloths, learn some Portuguese, check out the Christ the Redeemer statue in Rio (I've been wanting to visit that statue since I saw it in the 1996 remake of Romeo and Juliet with Leonardo DiCaprio!), and then move on Belize for a while, then maybe Italy, France, Sweden, Alaska, all the Hawaii islands, all the Caribbean islands...I could go on and on.  

I did a similar exercise in college when I was trying to figure out what I wanted to do with my life. My list was short and sweet:

1. Learn to drive a manual transmission, then buy an old purple VW bug and name it Lola. 

2. Decorate my apt with plants. 

3. Speak Spanish.

According to that list, my ideal job would be plant delivery driver in South America. Actually, that sounds fantastic! I should look into that.

I think it's interesting to note that in college I was making $80 a week tutoring middle schoolers and my list of desires were all relatively cheap. Now that I'm making more money, my desires have become more expensive (I can only imagine what my desires will be after I win the $640 million lotto tonight. Designer dresses dipped in gold and rubies most likely...). It makes me wonder - Does having more money automatically raise the bar on desires?  

When gossip magazines publish stories about celebrities who have spent all of their money and are forced to claim bankruptcy, I always think - HOW? 

How is it possible to spend MILLIONS of dollars so quickly? I'd like to think that once I become a millionaire, I will still continue with my simplified lifestyle. Sure, I could spend a few tens of thousands traveling the world, but that would still leave me with $539.9 million to live on! 

I suppose I would have to hire an accountant to manage all of my riches and do my taxes. Plus an assistant to deal with all of the donation inquires from charities and whoever else contacts rich people for money. And of course a publicist to manage all the press generated from interest in our fabulous simple living blog! 

It makes me exhausted just thinking about it! So of course I would then need to hire a relaxation team consisting of a masseuse, acupuncturist, reiki master, craniosacral therapist, naturopathic doctor, and therapist to follow me around and make sure I remained calm and zen-like at all times. A dog sitter for Harry Potter, a few nannies for my ever expanding brood of adopted and biological children, teachers to home-school the family and teach us local customs and languages. A team of lawyers in case someone tries to sue me for my millions, a business manager to manage all of my charitable enterprises, a secretary to type up my autobiography notes, a publisher, a tour manager, an image consultant...

OK, I've changed my mind. No winning lotto numbers for me. My desire to live a simple life outweighs my desire to be a millionaire.

To quote Notorious B.I.G. - "Mo money, mo problems"

Amen, Biggie!

Now that you've read my list, tell me, readers - what would YOU do if money were no object? Email us: this_joyful_life at yahoo dot com 

Losing Control

Have you heard this phrase? "Life is what happens when you're busy making other plans."

So true. Things never work out exactly as planned. And the more detailed the plan is - the more things won't go that way.  

(By the way, did you know that that quote was taken from a song that John Lennon wrote for his son, Sean called "Beautiful Boy"? I had no idea until I Googled it.) 

For an OCD planner like me, this truth really bugs me. How can I plan and therefore control my life if there are unseen forces working against me!?!

Take my wedding for example. I created a detailed, 15 page packet for each person in the wedding party containing checklists, floor maps, photos of how the decorations and tables should look (Drawn in excel, by me, including multiple strands of twinkly lights. I drew every single light bulb!), contact lists, even a wedding party task schedule broken down in half hour increments. I planned every last minute of that wedding, and did it turn out perfectly? Of course not.

I remember my coworker telling me a few days before my big day, not to worry because something always goes wrong at weddings. This did wonders for my stress level, let me tell you. Instead of relaxing and enjoying getting ready on the morning of the wedding, I was paralyzed with fear that something was going to happen to ruin my day. 

In reality, the list of things that went wrong were minor and not worth the added stress: The company hired to deliver and set up the chairs at the ceremony was late, the limo taking me and my bridal party to the ceremony had a broken trunk that wouldn't shut, the DJ set up his turntables in the dining area instead of on the dance floor, one of the keg pumps broke, and a few guests were no-shows. So no major disasters occurred, but I can still remember my barely controlled rage when Lily had to inform me that the DJ had set up in the wrong place and it was too late to switch it around so they were going to move some speakers outside instead. Obviously the DJ had not bothered to read his wedding packet. I managed to let it go though, and we all had a great time. (Though I can't imagine how much BETTER a time everyone would have had if the DJ had followed my instructions...but I'm trying not to dwell on it too much...I'll be married two years in October...I should be over it by my golden anniversary)

It has recently become apparent to me that no matter how much effort I've put into it, I just don't have the power to control the universe as it relates to my life. I'm still trying, but I'm definitely noticing more and more the futility in my attempts. 

So where does this leave me? A little shell-shocked, slightly pissed off, but more importantly - hopeful. 

I'm hopeful because if I don't have the power to control every detail of my life, if I don't have the power to predict or control the future, and if I don't have the power to change the past - then I can let it all go! 

Let those unforeseen forces have at it! I'm taking a well-deserved vacation! Let those chips fall wherever they damned well may...

Serious though, how do I let go? It sounds like a great idea in theory, but in practice? How do I not plan things?

My friend told me recently about a yoga class she had taken. At the end of the class the teacher had the students all lie on the floor in shavasina (dead man's pose). She instructed them to let go of their stresses and the thoughts running through their minds, and just concentrate on being in the moment.

I think I'll start with this moment right now.

Recap: Frugal February

Well, February has come and gone. All in all, the no spend challenge went pretty well. I did give in half way through the month and buy a scale, but since I was barely able to zip up my pants anymore, it was either buy a scale to motivate myself to get in shape, or buy a new wardrobe. I chose the least expensive option.

During the no-spend month, I discovered a bunch of things that I wanted to buy. I am always looking for the quickest, easiest solution to my problems, which sometimes leads to impulse decisions that don't always pan out so well. Let's take a look:

1. I didn't get a good night's sleep one night.
Impulse Decision: Buy a king sized mattress ($2000).
Actual Decision: Get over it ($0). 

2. I got invited to a cowboy themed wedding.
Impulse Decision: Buy new boots, new jeans, cowboy-type shirt ($250-400).
Actual Decision: I was going to borrow a pair of Lily's boots and one of my husband's flannel shirts. Unfortunately my feet were too big for the boots, and hubby's shirt was too big for me. So I ended up buying boots. And I'll probably buy some jeans...and a shirt...but I actually found a cute pair of boots that I wanted in February for $80 and held off buying them until March. Unfortunately they were no longer available, but THEN I found an even cuter pair for $59.95! So I saved $20.05! ($229.95-379.95)

3. My pants stopped fitting.
Impulse Decision: Buy new pants ($200).
Actual Decision: Buy a scale, count my calories, go running ($10.95)

Total savings: $2031

I even managed to declutter 4 books and a nail file during the challenge.

So what will this month's challenge be?

Fitting back into my pants! Wish me luck :D

Finding the Peace in Letting Go

The greatest step towards a life of simplicity is to learn to let go.” ― Steve Maraboli

When simplifing your life, you probably hear a lot about letting go. Most times you will assume it is about letting go of things - or at least that is what you may want to hear. In reality the best way to simplify your life is to look deeper than the physical things; start looking inward. Start letting go of what you never really had control over and start holding on to the peace that lives inside of you.
As emotional beings, we naturally hold on to people, fears, anxieties, resentments, and unresolved emotions from past and present situations. This sounds unhealthy right? So wouldn't it be logical to want to move on and move forward? That is not the case for many people. I often hear people say "I can't let go of this because this is what makes me, me" or "But this is who I am". That is not the case, no no honey, not true at all. These people are choosing to not let go because they are subconsiously holding on to the fear of what can become of them. IF they change, how can they start over? They may not want to let go because that would be giving up or maybe even losing control. I have even heard someone say that "they have moved on" or "they have forgiven the past" (including themselves) but yet they are still in an angry state of being looking for the bad in others, being critical, self righteous, living with a defensive attitude, continuing to justify choices, or finding ways to get some sort of vengance that they may call closure.

Is it worth it? What do you gain? There is nothing to gain from the strife of unruly emotions and unaccounted for anger. Those unresolved emotions lead to a complicated life, relationships, and a barrier that will never let you move towards finding peace within and ultimately a clear mind and a free heart. We have only one attempt to make this life the best it can be and we should change our negative habits, feelings, and reactions so that we do not pass them on. We are responsible for the generations that come after us, for our children and our children's children. What we pass on to them will take root and bloom in our family tree.

You only have now to change. So is it worth it? YES.

Breathe. Let go. And remind yourself that this very moment is the only one you know you have for sure. - Oprah Winfrey

Having a clear mind and a free heart can lead you to the idea that anything is possible if you realize that you are not in control and that is OK.

I will accept what I am given and I will be grateful and find joy in it. Does that sound like a simplier way of living? Of course because with a clear mind and heart you will start to be able to truly live and enjoy what you have in the world, and you will be able to get rid of what is not bringing you joy or aiding in your simple life. Once you start glowing from a happy life it will spread like wildfire. You will soon see how you'll start working like you don't need the money, you'll have better relationships, better conversations, a cleaner house, you will be able to get rid of more clutter because you won't have the guilty feelings attached to it. The list really can go on and on and on.

The first step towards letting go is to realize that the past or these negative habits and emotions no longer hold you captive. It can only continue to hurt you if you hold on to it. Let it go. To those of you who struggle with the idea of truly letting go or truly finding forgiveness; don’t cling to your self-righteous suffering, let it go. Let yourself be forgiven because the truth is, unless you let go, unless you forgive yourself, unless you forgive the situation, unless you realize that that situation is over, you cannot move forward. That is pride that is holding you back, the stubbornness to not accept change, not accept happiness.

How do you release the pride? Don't give into those urges to feed it. If a woman you work with is constantly rubbing it in that she got the promotion and you didn't comes by your desk and your pride wants to be just as haughty, smile and tell her how nice she looks today and ask her about her weekend. Her guard and yours will slowly be let down. Another situation may be that you are normally to afraid to go to a certain place because of uncomfortable feelings or anxieties; go there by yourself or with someone you trust and verbally say why you don't like it here and what you are afraid of and say out loud, "I am letting this go because it WILL NOT control me and I WILL live peacefully even though this happened." You may need to do this a few times. Other ways to start releasing pride are to put yourself in a humbling position, ask for forgiveness and actually talk about the situation but don't expect someone to ask for your forgiveness, talk about what happened and don't make up or look for excuses, and above all find the good and love that came out of it all. Because what is done is done and you cannot change it but you can let go.

Forgiveness is letting go of the hope that the past can be changed. - Oprah Winfrey

This is not going to be easy. No where is it written that life is ever easy, but once you get through the struggle, everything else will seem easy. Because the hard part is letting go and moving foward with expectation and with acceptance.

Frugal February Update

I faced my first shopping temptation on the first day of February. I had an appointment to get my eyebrows waxed at a makeup counter at the mall (Totally legal - no items were purchased. If anything, I was decluttering eyebrow hairs).

My appointments are scheduled for an hour after I get off work, so I usually have about 30-45 minutes to browse while I wait...for my brows (heheh).

Knowing that I couldn't buy anything this time, I decided to bring a book with me to read in the car instead of walking around the mall.

It was kind of scary! I parked at the top of the parking structure and every time a car drove by, my whole car shook! And then my brakes would creak. It was a long wait.

When it was finally time for my appointment, I walked inside the entrance doors and passed a huge sign in a store window that said:

I Like Money Where I Can See It.

Hanging In My Closet.

How friggin weird is that slogan? 

I like my money in the bank. Where it belongs. And if I need to pay bills, I can use it. 

The sign definitely helped squash my urge to shop though, and I escaped the mall without a thing. 

Frugal February Items Wanted: 0

Total Money Saved: $0.00

Frugal February

Every once in a while, Lilly and I like to participate in mini challenges.

We've done the 21 Day No Complaining challenge where you start at day 1 with a string or rubber band tied around your wrist and try to go for 21 days without complaining. If you complain, you have to transfer the string to your other wrist and start over at day 1. It took us a long time to complete that challenge.

Other challenges we've done have been shorter, like our No Spend Week challenges. We stock up on groceries and gas for our cars, and don't buy a single thing all week. Those challenges are fun, but they definitely involve meal planning - not my strong suit.

The most recent challenge that we did was a Get Outside of Your Comfort Zone Week challenge. Each day had a new comfort zone challenge - such as wear something you wouldn't normally wear. I bought a frilly blouse, put on heels, makeup, and did my hair with one of those pompadours on my head. It got great reactions from my co-workers, but I was highly embarrassed with the attention and was happy to get back to my plain work clothes and comfy shoes the next day.

This February we are going to be doing a month long challenge that we've named Frugal February. Basically, we are challenging ourselves not to buy any non-consumables for the entire month. That means only food and hygiene products, though we both agreed that we probably have enough hygiene products in our stockpiles that we won't need to buy any. Purchasing experiences like going out to dinner or going to the zoo is allowed, just as long as we don't buy any souvenirs to take home with us.

The goals of this challenge are to make us aware of our spending urges, help us save some money, and hopefully in the long run, help us stop buying so much stuff to bring home and add to our clutter. During the month we will be posting about the spending urges that come up and keeping a tally of the amount of money we're saving ourselves by not purchasing those items.

Wish us luck and feel free to join our challenge!

The Art of Simple Cooking

I love to cook (unlike some people I know, you know who you are). At an early age I was taught to cook and knew the importance of that knowledge. Even at 7 or 8 I was able to use the stove and oven. It feels natural to me to cook and bake. I know for many people they are afraid to cook or feel really uncomfortable in the kitchen because they have never had to cook. I am here to encourage those people to take that next step towards being a Big Girl who loves the kitchen and enjoys the art of cooking.

This why I encourage all of you fearful people to start participating in the longest form of art known to mankind. (Not sure if that is a fact but you would think so since we have had to cook to eat ever since we were created). IT MAKES LIFE SIMPLER! It really truly does. I know you may not think so BECAUSE Dinner happens....every night, whether we like it or not. With dinner come dishes, planning, making sure everyone will eat it, and making sure they are some what nutritious, especially if you are a Mother. But it really does life a little easier because 1. You do not need to go out to and pick something up, 2. Your trash will not be overloaded with to-go packages, 3. You can throw something together in less time then picking something up, 4. It is healthier for you, and 5. It costs less.

Not only does it make life easier but once you get the hang of it you will seriously enjoy it. Trust me...I know what I am talking about. I do it all the time and I really enjoy it. I enjoy watching others taste my food. I enjoy watching my children clean their plate. I enjoy the smell in the house from all the yummy food cooking. When I have time I like to make new dishes that require a little more effort but on a regular basis it is just dinner or just lunch, nothing extravagant, but it is still something I created to nourish the bodies and souls of my family.

OK, OK, Even for me, I can understand sometimes you may feel like it can be a chore. Like everyone else I do not always have the time to make the dinner that I would LIKE to have but as a Mother who tries to make every effort to simplify things I had to come up with some guidelines for simple meals.

Simple Meals mean:

Fewer ingredients - so we don't need to go to the store

Fewer dishes - being used to make it and eat it = less to clean

Less time - Less then 30 minutes to prepare and cook = more time with family

Simple dinners usually please everyone. Let's face it your 5 year old is not going to mention how she can really taste the mint you used in that sauce. In fact they are not even going to try some of it because "What did you put in there?! Yuck!". So the fewer ingredients, the higher you can bet on whether or not it will get eaten.

As you can tell I am trying to a home cooking revolution so if you have some simple recipes or meal plans share with us, we would love to try them out.