Wednesday, February 29, 2012

Finding the Peace in Letting Go

The greatest step towards a life of simplicity is to learn to let go.” ― Steve Maraboli

When simplifing your life, you probably hear a lot about letting go. Most times you will assume it is about letting go of things - or at least that is what you may want to hear. In reality the best way to simplify your life is to look deeper than the physical things; start looking inward. Start letting go of what you never really had control over and start holding on to the peace that lives inside of you.
As emotional beings, we naturally hold on to people, fears, anxieties, resentments, and unresolved emotions from past and present situations. This sounds unhealthy right? So wouldn't it be logical to want to move on and move forward? That is not the case for many people. I often hear people say "I can't let go of this because this is what makes me, me" or "But this is who I am". That is not the case, no no honey, not true at all. These people are choosing to not let go because they are subconsiously holding on to the fear of what can become of them. IF they change, how can they start over? They may not want to let go because that would be giving up or maybe even losing control. I have even heard someone say that "they have moved on" or "they have forgiven the past" (including themselves) but yet they are still in an angry state of being looking for the bad in others, being critical, self righteous, living with a defensive attitude, continuing to justify choices, or finding ways to get some sort of vengance that they may call closure.

Is it worth it? What do you gain? There is nothing to gain from the strife of unruly emotions and unaccounted for anger. Those unresolved emotions lead to a complicated life, relationships, and a barrier that will never let you move towards finding peace within and ultimately a clear mind and a free heart. We have only one attempt to make this life the best it can be and we should change our negative habits, feelings, and reactions so that we do not pass them on. We are responsible for the generations that come after us, for our children and our children's children. What we pass on to them will take root and bloom in our family tree.

You only have now to change. So is it worth it? YES.

Breathe. Let go. And remind yourself that this very moment is the only one you know you have for sure. -
Oprah Winfrey

Having a clear mind and a free heart can lead you to the idea that anything is possible if you realize that you are not in control and that is OK.

I will accept what I am given and I will be grateful and find joy in it. Does that sound like a simplier way of living? Of course because with a clear mind and heart you will start to be able to truly live and enjoy what you have in the world, and you will be able to get rid of what is not bringing you joy or aiding in your simple life. Once you start glowing from a happy life it will spread like wildfire. You will soon see how you'll start working like you don't need the money, you'll have better relationships, better conversations, a cleaner house, you will be able to get rid of more clutter because you won't have the guilty feelings attached to it. The list really can go on and on and on.

The first step towards letting go is to realize that the past or these negative habits and emotions no longer hold you captive. It can only continue to hurt you if you hold on to it. Let it go. To those of you who struggle with the idea of truly letting go or truly finding forgiveness; don’t cling to your self-righteous suffering, let it go. Let yourself be forgiven because the truth is, unless you let go, unless you forgive yourself, unless you forgive the situation, unless you realize that that situation is over, you cannot move forward. That is pride that is holding you back, the stubbornness to not accept change, not accept happiness.

How do you release the pride? Don't give into those urges to feed it. If a woman you work with is constantly rubbing it in that she got the promotion and you didn't comes by your desk and your pride wants to be just as haughty, smile and tell her how nice she looks today and ask her about her weekend. Her guard and yours will slowly be let down. Another situation may be that you are normally to afraid to go to a certain place because of uncomfortable feelings or anxieties; go there by yourself or with someone you trust and verbally say why you don't like it here and what you are afraid of and say out loud, "I am letting this go because it WILL NOT control me and I WILL live peacefully even though this happened." You may need to do this a few times. Other ways to start releasing pride are to put yourself in a humbling position, ask for forgiveness and actually talk about the situation but don't expect someone to ask for your forgiveness, talk about what happened and don't make up or look for excuses, and above all find the good and love that came out of it all. Because what is done is done and you cannot change it but you can let go.

Forgiveness is letting go of the hope that the past can be changed. - Oprah Winfrey

This is not going to be easy. No where is it written that life is ever easy, but once you get through the struggle, everything else will seem easy. Because the hard part is letting go and moving foward with expectation and with acceptance.

Friday, February 3, 2012

Frugal February Update

I faced my first shopping temptation on the first day of February. I had an appointment to get my eyebrows waxed at a makeup counter at the mall (Totally legal - no items were purchased. If anything, I was decluttering eyebrow hairs).

My appointments are scheduled for an hour after I get off work, so I usually have about 30-45 minutes to browse while I wait...for my brows (heheh).

Knowing that I couldn't buy anything this time, I decided to bring a book with me to read in the car instead of walking around the mall.

It was kind of scary! I parked at the top of the parking structure and every time a car drove by, my whole car shook! And then my brakes would creak. It was a long wait.

When it was finally time for my appointment, I walked inside the entrance doors and passed a huge sign in a store window that said:

I Like Money Where I Can See It.
Hanging In My Closet.

How friggin weird is that slogan? 

I like my money in the bank. Where it belongs. And if I need to pay bills, I can use it. 

The sign definitely helped squash my urge to shop though, and I escaped the mall without a thing. 

Frugal February Items Wanted: 0
Total Money Saved: $0.00